Find your target
Obviously, you need someone to flirt with before you can follow these steps, so go out, search Facebook/Myspace/Bebo etc or however you find love and then return once you’ve found the person you want to flirt with. If you’ve already done this then continue reading.
Break the Ice
Now, how to break that metaphorical ice? This isn’t hard once you’re confident and determined to flirt successfully with this person. Introduce yourself and try cracking a joke, or even making light contact with the person e.g. poking playfully or wiping an imaginary eyelash off their cheek. First impressions count! Most importantly, make sure you smile and of course be yourself. Now you’ve broken the ice, it’s time to make them realize that they want you!
Lower your expectations
Flirting is fun, but only if you don’t take it too seriously. Most of the time, you’ll just flirt with someone for a short time and then maybe never talk to them again. If you always go in to flirting expecting to date or even marry the person you’re flirting with, you’re going to be very disappointed–and you’ll probably seem a little desperate. Remember, you’re just flirting.
Relax and smile. Use your body language to give signals that you are the fun person that you are, and to show that you’re comfortable and confident. There’s nothing to be nervous about.
Read body language
Does the person look approachable? Do they appear interested in you? From the moment you see someone with whom you might want to flirt, you should read his or her body language. Once you’re actually flirting with the person, body language is often the only way to tell if the person is actually interested in you. We all have a natural ability to read body language, but it’s easy to misread signals, so be careful and take it slow. If you see one signal that indicates the person is interested in you, watch for other signals that might confirm that.
Make eye contact
Do not stare. Just shoot the person a quick gaze, smile with your eyes, and then slowly look away. If you look back and notice the person looking back to meet your eyes, they’re likely interested in flirting a bit.
Initiate a conversation
If you don’t already know them simply make small talk. Perhaps the best way to strike up a conversation is to start with a simple observation which ends with a question: Nice day isn’t it? Or this place sure is packed, eh? Are just a couple examples. What you say isn’t important. You don’t really need an answer to the question; you are simply inviting the person to talk with you. If the person responds pleasantly, continue the conversation. If the person doesn’t respond or seems preoccupied or disinterested, he or she probably isn’t interested in flirting with you.
Share info in a reciprocal manner
If this small talk goes well, proceed to share a little information about yourself–just something small like what you do for a living or how you liked the show you just saw, for example. At some point, of course, you’ll want to introduce yourself and, hopefully, get the other person’s name. The key to sharing information is that you both gradually open up. Take turns talking, and each time the other person gives you some information about himself/herself, give similar information about yourself, and maybe give slightly more personal information than that person gave.
Give the person your complete attention
Laugh at their jokes, listen to their stories, and don’t get distracted by what’s going on around you. It’s more important to seem interested than to seem interesting, and you don’t want to hog the conversation. Being a good listener is far more important to successful flirting than being witty.
Body language to hint
If things are going really well, you might want to try to break the touch barrier. Touch his or her arm briefly and gently as you talk. Or be more assertive and hold the person’s hand when you cross the street, or if walking to a seat or a table, lead them by gently holding their arm. Touching in this manner helps break a personal space barrier.
Close the deal
Most flirting is just harmless fun, and nothing will ever come of it. Every now and then, though, you’ll meet someone who you’d like to see again and who you think would also like to see you again. Flirting is, after all, a type of courting ritual, a way to meet potential boyfriends or girlfriends, maybe even your future spouse.
Dress for flirt
Flirting is all about attitude and, while the other person’s receptiveness to your flirting may depend greatly on how you look, the most important thing is to dress in a way that makes you feel good about yourself.
Don’t be uptight. Don’t worry about how you look. Don’t get too hung up on everything being perfect. Just relax. Smile. Be goofy, crack jokes, and laugh. Be laid back. Have fun.
Positive body language
Angle yourself toward other people, sit or stand with an upright (but not stiff) posture, and uncross your arms. Make eye contact. Smile often.
Be sure to compliment them in a casual and friendly way on things that are true. Sometimes people will make up compliments just to talk to someone, but that is the total wrong thing to do. You really should complement on things you really like, so you sound more sincere naturally. Sometimes complimenting their family or other things they are proud of works.
Do not attempt extreme images such as macho, super-smooth, cool dude, comedian, pick-up artist, witty conversationalist, or having a profession that you do not have. Even if it does impress her momentarily, the truth will surface eventually, and you will likely lose her trust and her interest. It is much better to be honest from the beginning.
Be bold but also courteous
If you can’t think of anything else to say, look her in the eyes and compliment her. Don’t be afraid to speak up! If she has a scarf on that you think is nice, tell her, and touch her scarf for a few seconds, and ask when and where she got it. Use an undertone-girls love it when you lean towards them and murmur a compliment.
Find out her interests, and music she likes
Then talk to her about them. If you can’t think of anything to talk about, use a conversation starter like how has your day been? Or don’t you love this time of year? These most usually only works if you are already friends with her, and you see her on a daily basis. If you do see her on a daily basis and she mentions, for example, a vacation she is going on soon, inquire where she is going, and branch off from there; when she gets back ask her how it was. Don’t be extremely serious in your inquiry, just ask it casually.
Humor can relieve awkwardness. If you say something weird, follow it up with something funny and turn it into a joke. Alternatively, just learn to be witty. Almost everyone likes intelligence as well as confidence, and blending those with humor can be a very effective combination.
Don’t be too eager
Don’t be too eager to start conversing with her at every possible opportunity. When she walks into the room, you do not have to jump up and say Hi!! Immediately, but if she sits next to you and initiates conversation, go for it!
Don’t talk too straight
Have a little spring in your speech. Compliment him/her in any way, shapes, or form! Now you’re flirting. Oh, and don’t talk too nice, but nice enough.
Mirror his or her
Mirror his or her pose when you are facing one another. This bit of body language sends a subtle signal; subliminally, they will feel as if they have a stronger connection to you just based on how you are mirroring them.
When you open the door
When you open the door for her, slightly touch her shoulder. Be careful not to seem like you are trying to rush her through.
Invite him/her to dinner
If (s) he is already your friend, invite him/her to dinner at your house with your family. If you have a pet, try the old classic of: My — like’s you. Presented at the same time with a shy smile while looking steadily into his/her eyes.
Smile a lot
Even when you are sad, chin up! Don’t be too overly perky though, if someone dies, it is okay to cry. If you break your arm that is okay too!
Help you to carry
(Girls) Ask him to help you carry your books or backpack. This usually works great! Only works if you have a lot of books or whatever. Don’t ask him to help if you have small things.
Invite for ice cream
If you can work up the courage to ask him/her, invite out for ice cream. Movies are okay, but girls will usually think you are proposing to them or something if you start out like this. Go slow! It may take time, but it’s worth it.
Write him/her a note
Fold it all cutely before giving it to him/her, and decorate the outside of it in bright colors. No I love you, just one compliment like I like your new shoes , Your socks look nice , I liked your art project , or even I don’t get this math problem. Will you help? Or something similar. Some guys/girls may think you are weird if you give a cheesy, decorated note that says something like what did the teacher say? Or simple things like that.
Wear cute clothes
Wear cute clothes that are clean and smell good, but don’t overdo the perfume/cologne. If you don’t have a large variety of clothing, ask your friends for hand-me-downs. Swapping clothes at a sleep over swap party is both a blast and productive. It helps the environment, and keeps you looking great! Or at least make sure your clothes are always clean and not wrinkled!
Put a love note
Put a love note in his/her locker. It may be cheesy, but sometimes it works!
Talk to him/her!
The best way to get to know someone is through conversation. Remember not to ask yes-or-no questions, like do you have any pets? Sometimes, if you carry the conversation on, like what breed is it? it is fine. Don’t be scared. Gather the courage to talk to him/her. Be yourself.
Weigh the risks
By pursuing romance in the workplace, you chance becoming distracted from your work, tarnishing your professional reputation, and creating a very awkward situation down the line. When the person you are interested in is your boss, you also risk embarrassment, misunderstandings, and a potential sexual harassment lawsuit. Plus, because of the added stresses of sharing a workplace, the relationship has more challenges it must face in order to survive.
Be fun to talk to
Be very creative in your texts. For example, if she asks what you are doing, instead of saying I had a sandwich say I had the most glorious sandwich crafted from the wonderful hands of God himself.
Slowly start giving the signs
Joke around with him/her, to start! If you are bold enough, ask him/her to go out with you and your friends to a movie, lunch, or just hanging out at the mall or Local Park. Look more in the eyes, but make sure that you don’t look at him/her strangely; this is a turn off. Smile when passing in the halls, or give a playful high five. A few compliments will show that you are into him/her.
Play with her hair
I cannot begin to stress how much girls like this. Especially focus on the hair at the nape of the neck. This area will undoubtedly give her chills. And from there (if you and the girl are comfortable enough together for this!) you can rub her neck and give neck massages. Also take your hand and push her front hair to the back of her head. (Please don’t do this if it looked like the girl worked on her hair today. Even if you were just trying to flirt with her she will get mad at you for ruining her hair!!)
Put your hands
Put your hands around her waist from behind. If she likes you she’ll most likely lean back on you. Just touch her softly when you do this though if you don’t she might jerk away.
Play with hair
If you’re already friends and you’re watching a movie, reading, or just talking with friends, go over and lie with your head in her lap. Let her play with your hair. If she pushes you off, just laugh. Only works if you’ve flirted a lot before.
Tickling is a great way to flirt
Tickle her under her ribs or her sides or belly. If she likes you, she’ll grab your hands and push you back, probably smiling or laughing. If she doesn’t, she probably won’t grab your hands- she’ll either just pull away, or slap them away.
Add her online
If you both have MSN or myspace or Facebook, add her, but don’t just add her, message her, comment on her profile, do something.
Be a step ahead
If she waves at you, be ready to say hi. If she says hi, be ready to ask her about her day. If she asks you about your day, be ready to have a conversation. Use this carefully don’t act like a know-it-all, one-step-ahead-of-you jerk.
The truth is, if she likes you even the slightest bit, even your corniest jokes are funny and your dumbest antics sweet.
Make her miss you
Don’t hang around with her all day. It gets annoying; hang out with your own friends sometimes.
Don’t screw it up
Admit it boys have a tendency to screw things up. Be extra careful not to make the slightest hint that you like her. Leave her guessing, it’s a big turn-on.
Start off by getting the other person’s attention
Do not ask the person next to you to get it for you. Always get their attention yourself. Sometimes you can just sense someone staring at you.
When he or she looks at you turn away quickly, then look back
When he or she looks at you turn away quickly, then look back. They’ll probably still be looking at you. Usually, especially the first time, they will look away instantly. If they hold for more than five seconds, let them win. At this point, they’ll probably be smiling, and wondering, ‘What the heck are they doing?’
You can get more creative
Try to make them laugh (not out loud). Make funny expressions, check them out, and always use your eyebrows. Remember you’re trying to be funny.
Narrow your eyes and raise your eyebrows quickly, and break it off
Focus intently on your work. Check every once in a while to see if they are staring at you. If they are, go in for round two.
Make sure to talk to them right after class
Start the conversation with, ‘Wasn’t class so easy/hard today?’ If the conversation goes the way you want, one of you will end up saying, ‘Yeah, as if you were looking at your work.’
If you were successful, do it again the next day
If you were successful, do it again the next day and after that, only once in a while. You’ll end up talking frequently to him or her, and may eventually get a number, or even a date!
Know when to back off
If this person responds to other people’s comments but not yours, they never comment on your pictures or updates, and they don’t respond when you say hello via IM or private messages, they’re probably just not interested. Leave them alone.
Keep your comments short, sweet, and appropriate
Novel comments are bad. One or two sentences are enough. Look at how other people comment – and how the person responds – to get an idea of what’s appropriate and what’s not. Some people keep their Face book profiles clean and professional; others don’t really care. Generally, comments are the cyber equivalent of small talk. Save the getting-to-know-each-other for chat and private messages.
Experiment with acting cute and a little bit silly
You could also try being hard-to-get. Don’t go overboard on the whole hard-to-get thing. Being cute lets you get away with lots of things which can sometimes be embarrassing like accidentally spilling a drink and other general clumsiness. Be careful with being silly. You want to make sure it’s not out of line.
Be positive, boys feel VERY uncomfortable answering questions like
Oh, I’m so fat. Don’t you think? Or No one has ever liked me! They are afraid that they will give you the answer you won’t like or that you’re just fishing for compliments and comfort. Avoid that common mistake.
If you like something he likes; it’s always a bonus
But it doesn’t matter if you like completely different things, just try to find something you both like or dislike.
If you like him, avoid trying to flirt physically
If you can tell he doesn’t seem to like it much, you should lay off. It will also make you look more mature if you’re not hanging off him.
Be friendly greet her numerous times throughout the shift
Don’t just throw compliments at her – say it only if you truly mean it.
Help her with things that she is doing. If the boss tells her to do something, offer to do it or ask her if she wants help. Remember to back off if she refuses.
Walk/wait with her after work
She’ll see that you care about her if you stay a bit longer just for her. Ask her if she wants to carpool or go for coffee if you feel like it’s the right situation.
If you catch someone looking at you
The first thing you absolutely must do to keep the attraction going is using your eyes. If you see a hottie, keep the eyes locked. Send a quick smile, then look down, and continue on what you’re doing. Move a bit closer to his/her location, glance every so often. And if the person has guts, s/he’ll look back, and possibly approach you.
Open up about yourself
Open up about yourself, giving someone even more reason to like you. But don’t go on and on – the goal is to engage and intrigue, not bore.
Gauge the person’s interest carefully
Gauge the person’s interest carefully. If you sense a flashing red light – or worse, smug ridicule – make your exit graciously, and immediately. You’ve got nicer people to meet.
Now that you are spending more time together, you can slowly flirt your way to a date or two. Use mutual interests as an excuse to go places together, working your way up to dinner and romantic occasions.
Get to know
A shy guy may not be as shy once he gets to know you. If you let him get to know you, he will probably open up about himself. This will allow you to spend more time talking with him.
Gauge her response
If she seems interested, then continue flirting. Otherwise, leave her alone. She may get hassled often and wants to be left alone. Apologize and quickly finish your meal.
Brush off your clothes or run your hands over your hair, if you’re a man. This communicates to the woman that you care about your appearance and want to look good for her.
Lean your upper body slightly toward the person
Men sometimes lean with their arms or shoulders prominently displayed to show their masculinity and strength. Women often lean forward with their arms close to their chests to enhance their cleavage. This type of body language clearly demonstrates your interest.
Learn the lingo
Every dangerous adventure has its own culture and slang. If you do not know the language, you will not get very far with your flirting.
Show respect for her
Show respect for her even as you are flirting — that way she will not take your comments the wrong way. Don’t be afraid to let her know you enjoy her company and want to get to know her.
Try teasing her a little bit
This is a harmless way to see if she will respond to more flirtatious behavior from you. Think of other things about her that you can complement, such as her appearance, her dress style, her unusual purse or the color of her eyes. Try to comment in such a way that you catch her interest and also make her laugh.
However you flirt
Keep in mind that flirting should indicate your interest in getting to know someone — in a polite, respectful and tactful way. Using cheesy pickup lines, being too aggressive, touching inappropriately or being in any way vulgar or rude will get you not only turned down but also probably slapped.
Do engage them with how unbelievably interesting you are
Funny jokes are always good, but you can really be impressive if you show off your listening skills. Ask questions and bring up things they said earlier in the conversation. This shows them you’ve been paying attention.
Do use humor
One of the best things two people can share while getting comfortable with each other is a good laugh. Make them laugh, and make them laugh often! Be careful not to get too comfortable when joking around… Cross the line with a joke and you may never be able to recover.
Do seal the deal
So your flirtatious encounter has been going well… Great! Now would be a great time to ask for a phone number or email address (which can seem more non-confrontational). Otherwise you may miss a golden opportunity to see this person again.
After all, practice makes a person perfect. The more people you flirt with, the better you’ll get at knowing what you should be doing and what to look out for. Plus it’s easy… You can practice flirting with people every day!
Maintain you’re cool
The thing I love about the ’70s is that the dudes were laid back and cool. Smooth is what my dad called it. They were able to be direct, get a point across and accomplish their love agendas all in a few seamless gestures. Be smooth with your glances, your look back, your approach and your follow up.
The hard part is over. S/He’s intrigued, now all you have to do is follow up. If you say you’re going to call, call. Keep your cool and wait at least a day before blowing his/her phone up.
Make a move
At this point s/he knows you’re interested. If s/he’s into you s/he’ll either repeatedly connect with your glances, smile back or both? Time to make a move and seal the deal. This is often the hardest part for most guys.
Be persistent, but not annoying. S/He’s probably waiting for you to make the first move, but s/he doesn’t want to seem too easy or eager so s/he might not respond right away. That doesn’t mean s/he’s not seriously considering it. Take your time and escalate your advances. Don’t give up. S/He needs to know that you are willing to put forth the effort for his/her prize.